Thursday, November 5, 2009

It's Been A While!



I haven't posted in a while, so I thought I'd do so. There really hasn't been a lot to post to be honest. I'm very happy in my new job and am enjoying a much lower stress level now that I'm right where I need to be. I've also met a wonderful new friend who's making things special for me. Life is good!

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Changes

I decided it was about time I post something current, or delete this blog altogether. I titled this entry "Changes" because I feel that I am sort of at a crossroads right now. Lots of things seem to be changing for me in my life. Thanks to Jana for summing it all up for me: "Change is hard!"

While I admit I'm excited about the changes ahead, they also make me quite nervous, vulnerable, and in some cases sad. Not only are changes happening in my personal life where for one thing I think I may have finally found someone who is "for real," but things are changing in my professional life as well. For both of these to be happening at the same time is a source of some stress for me, as I do not handle change well. In fact, it SCARES me and makes me feel less than safe. I do know that God has made this promise:

"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord. Plans for good and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope." Jeremiah 29:11

I admit that I have not embraced this promise much in the last 7 years. They have been hard years. I have doubted God and doubted His love for me, even though I knew what I had been taught all my life thanks to my parents who raised me in church....EVERY TIME the door was open. Divorce has a way of stripping you bare and making you question the goodness of God. What I've learned through all of this is that God is a big God, and He can handle and even welcomes our questions. As a child I was taught it was wrong to question God. I don't believe that anymore. He already knows what we are thinking anyway, so why not just tell Him the truth? Many times I've wondered "God, why did this have to happen to me?"

I also struggle with trust. Trusting other people is hard for me. There is one major reason for that, but the reason doesn't matter. To sum all this up, I have to TRUST that God has good things in store for me through these changes. I've prayed a lot about all of them, that God's will would be done and I would be in the center of it...right where I'm supposed to be. So for now, I'm clinging to that...that I'm right where I'm supposed to be!

Good things are to come! :)

Friday, April 10, 2009

Rough Week

It's been a rough week. Stress, sadness, disappointment, frustration....you name it and it's been in my face. I've felt especially lonely and low this week, but the words of my cousin's song "Always" have been like a balm to my soul:

"But I believe always, always,
My Saviour never fails.
Even when all hope is gone,
God knows our pain, and His promise remains:
I will be with you, always."

Check it out on youtube! He's the lead singer for Building 429 and writes and arranges all or most all of their music. Sorry, can't figure out how to post a link so you'll have to copy and paste!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AIR3VfS_who


I promise it's well worth your five minutes!


Sunday, March 29, 2009

10 Years Old Already???


Connor Braddock Schofield
4-2-99

Where have all the years gone? My sweet baby turns 10 this week, and I can hardly believe he's so grown up. He no longer enjoys the hugs and kisses from Mom like he used to and shrinks away when I try to give them. Where is the baby I held, rocked, sang to, loved, kissed, carried?
He's grown up before my eyes....and I love him more now than ever and much more than words can say. Happy Birthday Week, Connor! Mommy Loves You and Always Will!

Friends with little ones...treasure their babyhood. All too quickly it's gone and you're left with only the memories of tiny little feet, pudgy little noses, and wet little kisses. Oh yes, they're still there, but they get buried under all that "big boy" coolness and maturity. He's still my baby...and he'll always and forever be!

"I'll love you forever; I'll like you for always. As long as you're living, my baby you'll be."

I love you Con-Bon,
Mommy



Thursday, March 19, 2009

Good News!

I had my doctor's appointment today, and after feeling as if I had been fondled by everyone at Baylor I did get a good report. The lump showed up on mammogram and they did ultrasound, but the conclusion of the doc was that it was most likely calcification and he didn't see anything that indicated cancer to him. He also stated he felt no need to "stick a needed in it!" Thank goodness! He told me to continue regular mammograms and to let them know if there was any change.

Thanks for all of your prayers!

Love to you all!

Sunday, March 15, 2009

Spring Break Spoiler

This year Spring Break really stinks to put it bluntly. I keep reading all of the posts about people who are doing really wonderful things, and I'm feeling a bit jealous honestly! Katelyn got her wisdom teeth out on Friday, so I've been playing nurse all weekend. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE that I am able to take care of her. It's been a very long time since I've done that. I just wish we were out doing something FUN. On a brighter note, being confined to the house has allowed us more time to talk together than we probably would have had otherwise.

The other "spring break spoiler" is the doctor's appointment that I'm dreading on Thursday. I'm so ready to get that one behind me. I've had to push this to the back of my mind for a month now, and I'm ready for some resolution. Please pray that the lump will be nothing and that the doc will send me away relieved. I think when you get referred to a surgical oncologist it tends to scare you to death, even when there's probably nothing to worry about. Thank you to those of you who have told me you've already been praying. I do appreciate you very much!

Monday, February 16, 2009

Prayer request (again)

But this time it's for me...I found a lump in my breast and my doc has referred me to a surgical oncologist at Baylor who specializes in breast cancer. My appointment is March 19th. They wanted me to come March 2nd, but that's the day before TAKS! I know it's probably nothing, but I also realize the importance of having it checked out. I do appreciate your remembering me in your prayers! Thanks so much!

Sunday, February 15, 2009

Random, Empty Thoughts

I think I need to quit this blog thing....all my friends (I think) have such interesting things to post, and then there's my blank slate! I'm not sure anyone reads anyway! TAKS is in two weeks...I'm stressed. Connor is coughing and sounds terrible. After his flu bout last week, I'm hoping he doesn't get pneumonia! I miss Katelyn more than words can say. We talked a lot last semester, but this semester she's super busy and doesn't have as much time to chat. I realized how much that bothered me tonight when I read Sarah's blog! I found out a dear friend from my past has divorced and she's already remarried...as of yesterday. Wondering what I'm doing wrong? Maybe it's just not meant to be for me.

ENOUGH!

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Update

My grandfather's surgery went well today. Thank you to those who cared enough to pray for him. They have told us it is most likely cancer but was caught early. I don't know what treatment will follow at this point. I'm just thankful he came through surgery okay!

Saturday, January 31, 2009

Please Pray

Hey Friends,

My grandfather is having surgery on Tuesday morning for a tumor that they found in his bladder this week. He had quadruple bypass surgery 6 years ago and almost died, and since then we've been told his heart is too weak to survive any further surgeries. The urologist said there's no option here....the tumor must come out (whatever that means????). Anyway, they've warned us in very blunt terms of the seriousness of this surgery on Tuesday. He's 84 and has had a good life, but I'm still not ready to lose him. It's going to be hard to be at work Tuesday, but since I don't really have the time to take off I feel I must be. If something happens to him I'll need my days then.

Please pray that he'll come through surgery okay....or better yet, that God's will be done. If it's his time, pray my family will be able to accept that answer, too.

Thanks,
Stefanie

Friday, January 23, 2009

RTI

I was tired of looking at that last post, so I decided I just had to update even if I felt I really had nothing earth-shattering to say. Today, work was rough. The new RTI regulations are going to be the death of me. I had quite a breakdown today with the stress of it all. I think I need to get out of my classroom more. In 11 years of teaching, I've always guarded my lunchtime as precious and have taken that time to visit and bond with my colleagues. I've even preached to others about the virtues of "getting out of the classroom" even if just for a little bit. For some strange reason this year I've begun eating in my room and working through lunch. (Actually, I know the reason......)

Bad decision...not only am I more stressed, but I'm also more lonely. I don't feel as connected to my colleagues. I'm missing the comaraderie and support that comes from being with friends. I'm alone half the time when at home, so choosing to be so at work, too, is not very smart. My most recent goal for the new year is to get out of my shell and get back into life. Things will undoubtedly get better!

Sunday, January 11, 2009

PaPaw

Today is my PaPaw's birthday, and also the 16th anniversary of his death. I looked hard for a picture of him to post, and was saddened to find I had none. That's one of the many ugly things about divorce...you sometimes lose some of your memories in pictures when that happens. I plan to do something about that!

Anyway, it's so hard to believe it's been 16 years. There are so many things I remember about him. He was a massive man...tall, big, and gruff, even though he mellowed greatly in his latter years. I can still see him in his Texaco shirt (he owned a Texaco station in Mt. Pleasant for years) sitting in his recliner and counting his wad of bills. I remember being so awed by that stack of money. I don't know if he didn't go to the bank everyday or what, but he always had a stack in that money clip! He was a survivor of the Great Depression, though, and didn't let go of it too easily.

I can remember going with him to the farm to feed the cows, feed the catfish in his stocked ponds, and work in his garden. I spent the night with them every Friday night and stayed all day on Saturday, and he was always busy working around the place or at the station. He didn't tolerate any nonsense though, and when he spoke you jumped! :)

So many memories.....seems like just yesterday. Rest in Peace, PaPaw! I love you!


Saturday, December 27, 2008

My Christmas Lesson



I learned a valuable lesson this Christmas thanks to the above pictured gift. Someone (who's really NOT a very good friend I might add) must have prayed that I'd find patience. Connor had begged for a "Lego Star Wars AT-TE Walker." He got it. That was my first mistake. 16 hours, 799 tiny pieces, several outbursts, a few inappropriate words, a horrible backache, and some tears later, we had the darn thing put together. The funniest part of all is that I PAID for that misery! Never again...even Connor was not enjoying it at all by about the third hour. I was determined we'd finish what we started, so we did. He knows I'll put some serious hurt on him or any of his friends who decide to take it apart! It reminded me of some comedy movie...but it just wasn't funny.

Other than that episode, we had a nice quiet Christmas at home...just me and the kids. We attended Christmas Eve services at Northwood and had lots of quality time together. No other family was with us, so it was quiet.

I hope all of you had a very Merry Christmas and that you have an equally Happy New Year!

Stefanie


Monday, December 15, 2008

Ready or Not! Christmas is Coming...



This post is especially for LS who met me in the hall at school yesterday and said, rather accusingly, "YOU don't update your blog!" Well, LS, here you go! Con man and I finally got our tree up and house decorated and yes, you are right, there are NO presents under that tree! Connor reminds me of that regularly!

To tell the truth, sometimes I don't feel like I have much to say so I don't update. The holidays haven't held the same magic for me since my divorce, and I'm afraid it's showing. Someone at school the other day said it was "all over my face." I'm praying for a better outlook, so those of you out there who actually read this (LS) please pray for me as well. My kids need for me to find some holiday cheer.

I know what Christmas is all about...and yes, we do have a lot to celebrate. The birth of Jesus, next to his crucifixion and resurrection, is the greatest gift I'll ever receive. I haven't been too mindful of that the past few years, but deep down I know it. He loves me just as I am, and he'll never leave me!

Merry Christmas to all of my blog readers! Thanks for your wonderful gift of friendship.

Stefanie

Sunday, November 23, 2008

How 'Bout Them Cowboys!!!!














GO COWBOYS!!!!!







Connor and I went to the Cowboy's game today with my brother and his family. (Yes, that is my brother in the background of the picture of us...I didn't have a date! I'm sure you can see the resemblance.) The other kids in the pictures are my niece and nephew Hunter and Hannah. It was a lot of fun as always, but perhaps a little tiring after helping my parents move all weekend. I'm so exhausted I don't know how I'll work tomorrow, but I'm sure I'll figure it out. We love our Cowboys! :)

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Wreck!


I had a wreck today. I was rushing from tutoring to get back to school for PTA and went to pick up Connor. I rear ended a car on Grapevine Highway. I looked to the side and looked back in front of me only to see a car in my windshield. Right there. I just couldn't get stopped. She said the car in front of her stopped suddenly and she barely got stopped herself.

Tonight my back, neck, head and shoulders hurt, and also my knee. I think it went into the dash. I missed PTA and feel so guilty about it. I would have loved to see my kids perform.

I have such good friends. Jana came by to check on me, and Darla and Vanessa both called. I'm lucky to have friends who care. My dad is coming at 6:30 in the morning to help me deal with it all. He's afraid that as old as my car is, they may try and total it due to the fact that so much has to be replaced. I really don't need this right now!

My string of bad luck continues....my roof leaked last night. My brand NEW roof. I called the roofer, of course he says it's not their fault. Whatever...it didn't leak before he replaced my roof!

I'm thanking God tonight that things weren't worse than they were today. I can live with a little soreness...at least I'm still here!

Sunday, November 9, 2008

The Bracelet


Well, I wanted to post a picture of the bracelet that caused me so much grief yesterday, but it just wouldn't work. I couldn't get a good shot of the bracelet because....well, I'm not sure why! Every one of them was blurry and had a bright spot, and you couldn't really see the details of the bracelet anyway. But at least you have an idea of what it looks like!

Yesterday Connor and I spent all day running errands all over Northeast Tarrant County and going to his last baseball game. He went to spend the night with friends, and when I got home at 9 pm I realized that my two-tone white and yellow gold bracelet with diamonds was missing...it was not on my arm.

I don't have a lot of nice jewelry. Two pieces tops. This particular bracelet I purchased for myself last Christmas after a long term relationship ended due to a move. I was blue and needed some cheering up. I certainly wouldn't want to lose it after I paid so dearly to have it!

I ignored the advice of 1 parent, 1 sister, and two friends, and left the house at 10 to go look for it. I know...dangerous and stupid but I couldn't sleep anyway. I started at the Keller ballpark, which was totally dark. I drove my car up the sidewalk and shined my headlights on the bleachers and climbed up with my flashlight to search, all the while expecting to hear sirens and be questioned about my behavior. No bracelet. I then turned the car around, shined the lights down the sidewalk, and walked with my flashlight retracing my steps...no bracelet. I turned the car so that my headlights shined on the grass where I stood for a while, got out and used my flashlight to search, again, no bracelet. I was in tears by this point....not to mention quite an easy target for a criminal!

I forgot to mention that before I left the house I called every place of business I'd visited to see if they'd found a gold and diamond bracelet, only to be told "no, and if someone found it they probably wouldn't turn it in." NICE...that helped. Then my 1 parent, 1 sister, and two friends told me the same thing..."it's gone, these things happen, just let it go, there's no sense in looking...you've been everywhere!" That helped, too.

When I left the ballpark I began to pray. I said, "Lord, you know I don't have much. I really want this bracelet back. I struggle for every single thing I have and this is just not fair." (yes, I was whining to God) I then went and searched the parking lots of two Walgreen's stores and headed to Walmart at Davis and Precinct Line.

When I walked in the greeter noticed right away I was looking only at the floor, and asked if I'd lost something. I told her and she said "oh no, bless your heart, you'll never find that." NICE AGAIN...people can be so encouraging! I teared up and told her I knew that was true, but I had to know I'd tried. I told her I had this Walmart, two more Walgreen's stores, the cleaners, and J.C. Penney's at the mall still to check. She said good luck. I could tell she thought I was stupid.

I went and began to retrace my steps, and decided to start at the self-checkout counter I'd used. The man working there noticed my odd behavior and said "Ma'am, is everything OK?" I told him my sad story, sobbing, and he directed me to the two men standing in front of customer service. He said they were managers and would know if anything had been turned in. I walked over and one of the men said he knew I'd called, and no, nothing had been found. He then asked the other guy if he had the key to the safe so that they could check while I was there, just in case the bracelet was there. I waited patiently.

Suddenly one of the guys asked me for more details about the appearance of the bracelet and began walking my way with something in his hand. I told myself "Stefanie, it's not it...don't get excited and be disappointed." (yes, my faith is very strong) When he got to me, he had my long lost bracelet in his hand. I began to bawl and told him that was it. He said, "Well, I guess there are some honest people in the world. I have no idea who found it or put it in the safe."

I left in tears thanking God for the blessing I'd received. I know it may seem small to you, but it was huge to me. I needed that. I know it was just "stuff" and matters little in the grand scheme of things, but things have been rough for me lately and I needed that bracelet back. I felt as if I would fall apart if I didn't find it. Yes, I'm healthy, my kids are healthy, I have a job, we have food on the table and the bills are paid, and a little bracelet is not a life or death issue. But Saturday night I was reminded that God does care about me, and he cares about the little things in my life as much as he does the big things.

Thank you, Lord, for helping me find my bracelet! I promise not to wear it again until I can have a safety chain added!

Sunday, November 2, 2008

At the Beach


Katelyn sent me this picture last night of her and Jordan on the beach in Galveston. She said it was just unbelievable the amount of damage down there. I thought it was a great picture and wanted to share it with all of you! Jordan's mom, Karen, and I met in high school and are still the best of friends. We were pregnant with these two at the same time. Who would have ever thought they'd be dating 18 years later...it's just amazing! I'm so proud of Katelyn and her accomplishments at A&M and can't wait to see her at Thanksgiving!

Saturday, November 1, 2008

Trick or Treat!









Connor and the cousins had a great time Friday night trick or treating and celebrating the holiday. We went to Jeff and Alicia's house (my brother and sister-in-law) in Flower Mound. We had a nice dinner of chicken lime tacos with all the trimmings and then hit the neighborhood. I think you could hear the cousins coming for blocks before they actually arrived! Connor's (oops! I mean Sir Peter's) last picture is evidence that a good time was had by all!

Thanks Jeff and Alicia!

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Under the Weather


Connor and I have both been sick the past couple of days. It seems the stomach bug felt a need to visit our house. Details are unnecessary, so I'll spare you, but suffice it to say I'm glad we're feeling better. I felt a bit like the little girl looks in this picture!

Happy Halloween everybody! :)