Changes

I decided it was about time I post something current, or delete this blog altogether. I titled this entry "Changes" because I feel that I am sort of at a crossroads right now. Lots of things seem to be changing for me in my life. Thanks to Jana for summing it all up for me: "Change is hard!"

While I admit I'm excited about the changes ahead, they also make me quite nervous, vulnerable, and in some cases sad. Not only are changes happening in my personal life where for one thing I think I may have finally found someone who is "for real," but things are changing in my professional life as well. For both of these to be happening at the same time is a source of some stress for me, as I do not handle change well. In fact, it SCARES me and makes me feel less than safe. I do know that God has made this promise:

"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord. Plans for good and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope." Jeremiah 29:11

I admit that I have not embraced this promise much in the last 7 years. They have been hard years. I have doubted God and doubted His love for me, even though I knew what I had been taught all my life thanks to my parents who raised me in church....EVERY TIME the door was open. Divorce has a way of stripping you bare and making you question the goodness of God. What I've learned through all of this is that God is a big God, and He can handle and even welcomes our questions. As a child I was taught it was wrong to question God. I don't believe that anymore. He already knows what we are thinking anyway, so why not just tell Him the truth? Many times I've wondered "God, why did this have to happen to me?"

I also struggle with trust. Trusting other people is hard for me. There is one major reason for that, but the reason doesn't matter. To sum all this up, I have to TRUST that God has good things in store for me through these changes. I've prayed a lot about all of them, that God's will would be done and I would be in the center of it...right where I'm supposed to be. So for now, I'm clinging to that...that I'm right where I'm supposed to be!

Good things are to come! :)